alive

there are things that i just can’t help but ponder upon. it’s life. i always think about life. i remember one time when i watched the tv series HEROES. one of the actors asked the other actor if he wants a life of meaning or a life of happiness. i stopped to think which one i would choose because like what was answered, i also want both. then it was countered that he can’t have both. life of meaning means that you will dwell in the past and wallow about what happened in your life searching for the meaning that one can be satisfied with. on the other hand, the life of happiness means that you will live with the present, not minding what the past had brought you and what the future can offer you.

i don’t really know. i just know that i am living my life now. it’s not the path wherein everyone will choose to be but i know that if given the chance to make obligations disappear, i know that they want this life.

i am happy inspite and despite of everything else that’s happening in my world and the world itself. i am feeling the serenity now and i wish this will never end. i am contented, for a change.

i know that life still has many things in store for me. if only life will be kind enough to let me remain in this state of blissfulness and contentment, i think i’m ready to die.

i can’t exactly point out what lead me into this state. maybe it’s because i get to discern about choosing between to be miserable and to be thankful for what i have now and who i am. i know that i have been struggling to make myself realize (not that i needed convincing) that i am fine. maybe what really made me realize that i have to be kind to myself because i am with me 24/7.

i don’t know why i keep on talking about life. i like thinking about it and i like to examine it.

at the start of the year, i have resolved to appreciate what i have, who i am, to be contented and be happy. after all, it’s a matter of choice. i am choosing to live my life now in my own terms.

i love life.

~ by ifoundme on February 10, 2008.